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June 08, 2019
220.4 lbs

June 08, 2019 741 Block Island, RI

8:07 AM - Persephone’s BI

… beautiful day, walked to Dicken’s Farm Preserve to check on the thistle plants, they were where i expected them to be, the places they were last year and the year before that, don’t see them anywhere else on the island though i assume they could be in places i don’t get to at all or much, but i don’t see them in lots of places that seem a similar habitat… a bit of research on the thistle plant but i don’t find photographs that match up well to what i see… a new health worry, weird spot on my leg that looks a bit like i got scraped and it is healing but it is smooth and not scabby, i worry about skin cancer, i have had it, my dad has had melanoma, i am vigilant, it is time to go to the skin doctor anyway, have been waiting till the unknowns of my cardiology situation become known, on Tuesday, hopefully nothing to worry about, then off to the skin doctor and finally, at last, the dentist, probably in early July… walked out to north light this morning, seagulls nesting, taking exception to my presence, no seals, wondering if they will come back, very low tide, walk further out on the point than usual, the ends of the earth point… just checked UV index, very low for the time i was out… tried to catch up on the news, internet very slow here, everywhere it seems, wondering why they aren’t able to do better… tattoo-girl working the register this morning, looking very pretty, the tats subject material a little dark…
June 07, 2019
221.6 lbs

June 07, 2019 693 Block Island, RI

June 07, 2019 659 Block Island, RI

June 07, 2019 641 Block Island, RI

8:52 AM - Persephone’s BI

… feeling photographically uninspired… walked trails through Rodman’s Hollow to Fresh Pond, so many ant mounds, wondering if clusters of them are the same ant colony, wondering how many ants there are, wondering what the network of tunnels underground looks like… evidence of digging along the trails, human digging, naturalists studying something… feeling the undertow of worry about whatever my cardiologist might have to tell me, hard to imagine being able to exercise as vigorously as i have been with serious heart issue(s), my mind finds ways, i am in the very beginning stages of something, H’s father was vigorous and died of a heart attack, for most people the first symptom of heart attack or stroke is the event itself, and so on… despite workings of my mind, not sunk in depression as sometimes happens… hard rains gonna fall, Bob Dylan crooning in the background, over to Todd Rundgren… a very attractive and solid young woman, dirty blond hair, taking orders, down to earth, as i gaze at her eyes, ears, neck, lips, i can’t help but think about making love to her, i smile at her, i am not obnoxious, i enjoy the thought and move on… suddenly busy in here, i decide to stay at my table a while longer, i feel a little guilty taking a large table by myself… now the Beetles, While My Guitar Gently Weeps… a woman with short brown hair and hook nose reminds me of someone, not sure who… what would be an original take on BI, what might make better pictures, not feeling it…
June 06, 2019
221.0 lbs

June 06, 2019 576 Block Island, RI

June 06, 2019 552 Block Island, RI

June 06, 2019 550 Block Island, RI

June 06, 2019 549 Block Island, RI

9:20 AM - Persephone’s BI

… weight trying to work its way to the 220 line, too much alcohol last night, i left the electrical system in the car on and killed the battery, i remember going out to put the windows up, but not what happened after that, what distracted me, what kept me from pulling the keys out and turning the car off… word from J yesterday that D had a couple of episodes the day after she left, she must have been talking to M, are they getting more frequent, i don’t know… i walked into town via the greenway trails, nice walk, not much image making, i expected more from the fog but there was a steady breeze, fogs are best when the air is still… i made a ridiculously labor intensive french onion soup last night, it was very good… more essays from Bertrand Russell explaining why he is not a christian, he apparently did not believe in free will, i agree with him on that… well, there doesn’t seem to be much on my mind and I have to get home and deal with breakfast and getting the car going again…
June 05, 2019
222.0 lbs

June 05, 2019 526 Block Island, RI

June 05, 2019 507 Block Island, RI

June 05, 2019 480 Block Island, RI

June 05, 2019 478 Block Island, RI

8:30 AM - Persephone’s, BI

… my weight staying stubbornly up despite major walking excursions and not really other than alcohol… i did have too much chicken, but not in fattening sauce… thinking about “Death of the Author,” the argument that authorship is irrelevant, that a text or any form of artistic expression is free of the author once sent out into the world, that there are multiple interpretations, that along with the author the expert critic is dead too, unneeded, any reaction and interpretation is valid, meaning surfaces within a cultural context… i think more about what i try to express with my art, it is not a challenge to politics or the art that went before me, perhaps nostalgic towards some of it, what my desire to work in black and white is about… i am about what it all means, i am i said, the quietly sublime, this is what i am interested in, politics is fleeting… just now it occurs to me that Kelly Ann Conway’s statement about belief trumping facts is a post structuralist point of view, extended, politics is about what large numbers of people believe, something that Fox and Trump have understood well… supposed to rain for half an hour, i am stuck for a while, i was not expecting rain until later, my app changed its mind, how fickle of it… You find as you look around the world that every single bit of progress in humane feeling, every improvement in the criminal law, every step toward the diminution of war, every step toward better treatment of the colored races, or every mitigation of slavery, every moral progress that there has been in the world, has been consistently opposed by the organized churches of the world. I say quite deliberately that the Christian religion, as organized in its churches, has been and still is the principal enemy of moral progress in the world.*
*Bertrand Russell
June 04, 2019
222.4 lbs

June 04, 2019 430 Block Island, RI

8:28 - Persephone’s, BI

… long walk into town, via South Lighthouse road, bright and sunny, probably should have done one of the trails to stay out of sun… i drank too much last night, probably ate too much too, weight up 2.4 lbs, hoping it is mostly water, off to a good start today, over 13K steps, 6 miles, i am feeling more fit than last summer when i did not walk as far, not wanting to, it doesn’t seem daunting to me this summer, hoping this means good things for my heart, hoping my heart is in general good shape… we toasted M&P last night, here’s to proof that love is ageless and timeless i said, H posted a picture on FB, L has yet to weigh in on the picture, wondering if she is unhappy that we are embracing it, seems the openhearted thing to do… news that the Brits are doing their best to make Trump feel unwelcome, wondering how Trump will react… Kirsten Gillibrand had a good night on Fox News Town Hall, making the case that women have to have a seat at the table, amen, i am all about the women, white men need to step aside for a while… i feel better today than i think i have a right to feel… it is time to move on, have to walk home still…
June 03, 2019
220.0 lbs

June 03, 2019 412 Block Island, RI

June 03, 2019 405 Block Island, RI

June 03, 2019 403 Block Island, RI

June 03, 2019 385 Block Island, RI

7:54 AM The Old Post Office Bagel Shop, BI

… Bertrand Russell explaining why he is not a Christian, i have the thought that i am trying to be the second coming of Christ, that most western men have second coming complexes, that we all want to be something significant, those who make it are often far from Christian… an interesting article yesterday by a woman who grew up in a fundamentalist megachurch in Houston, who left the church and joined the “church of ecstasy,” she was looking for transcendence and found it more honestly in ecstasy, the point in the article that struck me was the perversion of the Christian message around wealth, the original message being share your wealth with whomever needs it, the mega church congregations apparently more into building and preserving wealth… reading and thinking about Photography At The Dock i am brought to the place where i think about who i am as a photographer… i am not interested in photographs as raw material to assemble a social critique or to document social conditions… i am more interested in photography as a means of looking, seeing, illuminating the connection of my self to the cosmic fabric… i am interested in the hermits dialogue between self and experience… i am interested in making the ineffable effable… i am interested in confirming that i mean something… i got into a funk yesterday, after the push to organize and get out here, after a trip that went well, i got tired and irritable and crashed… ML walks in, he doesn’t notice/recognize me, i am not a common presence in his world… i consider the possibility of a beach day, weather app says windy, it will be hard to have an umbrella to hide from the sun… walk into town satisfying, lots of steps, will easily have 10 K from the round trip… what to make for dinner… i resolve a tension, i will not make our estimated tax payment on time, i will let it slide a week or two to make sure that there is enough cash flow… i am worried about when H stops working, i think we will miss the income… i will work on reducing expenses…

June 02, 2019 286 Narragansett, RI

June 02, 2019 281 Narragansett, RI

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